*-*-*-* Nice Nickname 4 MSN *-*-*-*

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once
Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too..
Opinions are like assholes... Everyone's got one, and they stink
Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark causechildren
Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it
Statistics are used by people who have no proof
Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet
You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you
In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
I like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become a Consultant
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do?
Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better
To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems
WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i'LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
I avoid temptation unless I can't resist it
I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours
Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
Gravity always wins
The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk
There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
Buy land, they have quit making it!
Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it
Eat healthy, exercise more, still die
All generalizations are false
A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
This isn't school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting
The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already
War does not determine who is right... but who is left
If you are drinking to forget, pay in advance
If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
You can better lose a lover than love a loser
I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
Cool Name
Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
We came, we saw, we drank beer
Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
Save water, drink beer
Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils

Mom + Dad + beer - condom = me
People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do